slightly used and bitter

As I pulled into the Albertson's parking lot my eyes were drawn to a lady standing in front of the store with her glasses halfway down her nose and tilting her head so she could see over her glasses. She was African American, had a large build and was holding a couple plastic bags. What drew my attention to this lady was her peculiar no-shame stare. For a moment I thought she was waiting for someone but then she stopped a young man and asked him something. He shook his head and walked away. I figured she must be asking people for money. She was profiling people and not in a subtle way (if I could tell from across the parking lot, she wasn't being subtle). 


I parked my van and dreaded having to pass her because I knew she was profiling me as I walked toward her. Sure, ask the girl in amiable looking church attire. She stopped me. 


"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"I'm going to be honest with you. Can I have some bus money?"
"Uh..."
"Look, I'm going to be honest. I don't have the money. There was a cop on the bus something something bus driver something something cop it's for the bus. I'm being honest with you."


My mind quickly racked up how I should respond. I couldn't use my usual excuse that I didn't have any cash on me because I had specifically taken a stack of quarters to use for change that morning. Then I thought about her circumstance and remembered how I used to take the bus and how horrible it was when I was short on bus fare. 


She waited for my response and gazed at me over her glasses frames. My eyes darted down to her bags and I saw that she had been shopping at the Dollar Tree. 


"Sure," I said. And pulled out some change. 
"It's $2.75," she said as I placed the quarters in her hand. "Thank you." 
"You're welcome." 


After our exchange I entered the store and she came behind me saying something about how it was hot and she needed a drink. It was a warm day, I told myself. And then I saw her head straight for the Tully's inside the store. I tried to dismiss the fact that she probably just scammed me into getting her an iced drink. Maybe she had a gift card...but it was odd that she decided to get a drink right after I had handed her some cash...

---

Salad mix in hand I walked out of Albertson's and saw Glasses Lady walking toward my direction sipping on and iced drink. We passed. I did not look pleased. She said thank you again and I mumbled something that sounded like "you're welcome." I pulled out in my van and saw her now standing behind the wall in front of the enterance, but she was still partially visible. She stopped another kind looking fellow and right then I rolled down my window and yelled, "Don't give her any money! She's lying! She just used my money to buy herself a drink!" 

I didn't actually say anything. I just drove away. 

---

I think in Heaven "I'm being honest with you" would mean, "I'm thirsty, would you mind buying me a nice cold iced drink, Kira? And maybe spare me some change for the bus too?" And I would give Glasses Lady some bus change and buy her a drink. And I would do it out of joy and not feel burdened.